Eleven days, still learning how to begin (90 days of Intentional Living)

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I set my things up for tomorrow’s university. Gym clothes, a pair of fresh clothes post gym, meal preparation, bags, water bottles—so that I don’t have to rush my morning. Intention, motivation—everything was clear. I played with Mihira for a while with all the gifts she got for her birthday, and in about five minutes, we were about to sleep. It was 9.20 PM. Until then, Mihira was calmly sitting on the bed and playing with clay. Suddenly, she fell back and did a reverse somersault. Even before we realized, she fell to the ground on her face. The thud was very sharp, and I got so scared. She hurt her forehead and bit her tongue and started bleeding in the mouth.

What followed next was an hour of rush at home—to give her ice, sugar, and apply cream on her forehead bump. She cried frantically, and surely she hit her head hard. Then slowly, she slept off. But we couldn’t, for a long time. My thoughts were scattered in different lines. I wanted to make sure that she was okay. I took half-day leave the next day. She woke up alright the next morning, but the bump on the head did not subside. She was active and went to school. It was only then that relief settled in, and I left for the university.

Then the following days were equally filled with chaotic, rush-filled days. The first thing that was compromised was my sleep—followed by next-morning irritation and low energy. I attended an arangetram as a guest on Wednesday. Took my daughter to OG Surabhi Theatre’s Mayabazaar for the best experience. As much as she enjoyed the 1.5-hour-long drama, the drama that she created before and after made me question my decision. But in retrospect, when I think of her excitement when she saw the wonderful special effects on stage, I tell myself it is all worth it.

But then I have deadlines—to write papers, prepare for performances, and prepare students for exams and performances. Weekdays are full. Weekends are fuller. As much as I thought that I was managing my health fairly well despite the busy schedule, my tongue was inflamed for two weeks. With research, I got to know that it is due to either nutritional deficiency or stress (cortisol). When I told my theory to my family, they warned me to go to a doctor because I am not an actual doctor but a Ross doctor (IYKYK). Finally, yesterday I went to an ENT, and he asked me not to worry too much. He prescribed some anti-allergy medicines and multivitamins (which proves my theory :P).

Among all these situations with little control, I practiced being aware and centred. Not for an ideal amount of time, but I did. Like…

  1. When I fed my daughter, played with her, sang with her, recorded her cute little stories.

  2. Danced with my daughter.

  3. Did a yoga flow rather than gym, and it felt relaxing and good.

  4. Installed Substack and started reading, which I felt was better than doomscrolling on Instagram.

  5. Reduced my screen time.

  6. Enjoyed Surabhi natakam with my daughter.

  7. Watched nature—a little more than usual. Observed tiny chirping birds on our terrace and green parrots, sat in the sun, cleaned my daughter’s wardrobe (ours is long pending though).

It wasn’t great, but being aware is constantly at the back of my mind. So until next time I write here again, let me have a set of goals on being centred.

  1. Meditation and cleaning (Heartfulness way). I want to be a regular practitioner of what I firmly believe in. Believing and not doing is not okay. Hence, I want to keep my heart, mind, and intention in sync.

  2. Be honest in conversations. Soft and honest. Sometimes, we don’t say what we mean, or vice versa. Let me be clear in communicating.

  3. Have more fun and joy with work—what a lovely life to have your passion as your profession. Although it is currently very stressful, I want to incorporate tiny moments of joy for my work to be more meaningful.

  4. Practice gym and dance—non-negotiable. Do not depend on your mood. Do not overthink. Just do it.

  5. Sit in the sun between 9–11 AM. Take multivitamins regularly.

  6. Sleep. Increase quality of sleep.

  7. Be more kind to my people and myself.

Yeah, let us see. 🙂




Today's dose of Morning Sun. 

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