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Eleven days, still learning how to begin (90 days of Intentional Living)

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I set my things up for tomorrow’s university. Gym clothes, a pair of fresh clothes post gym, meal preparation, bags, water bottles—so that I don’t have to rush my morning. Intention, motivation—everything was clear. I played with Mihira for a while with all the gifts she got for her birthday, and in about five minutes, we were about to sleep. It was 9.20 PM. Until then, Mihira was calmly sitting on the bed and playing with clay. Suddenly, she fell back and did a reverse somersault. Even before we realized, she fell to the ground on her face. The thud was very sharp, and I got so scared. She hurt her forehead and bit her tongue and started bleeding in the mouth. What followed next was an hour of rush at home—to give her ice, sugar, and apply cream on her forehead bump. She cried frantically, and surely she hit her head hard. Then slowly, she slept off. But we couldn’t, for a long time. My thoughts were scattered in different lines. I wanted to make sure that she was okay. I took half-da...
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90 days of Intentional Living

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I pushed my adulthood for a very long time—longer than a normal adult—in the name of a Ph.D. I had the privilege of being a student, receiving a stipend, and managing life with it. The beauty of being a student is that you are a student and still have time for a hundred different things. I was performing, teaching, sitting and ruminating, lamenting, soaking in all my emotions a hundred percent. When I reflect back on that phase of my life, I say to myself—wow, what a luxury. Even after joining a job and getting married, I could retain some part of that life. But life really began to run when my daughter was born. And once she became a toddler, I became a hundred percent someone who could not afford not to juggle a hundred things—less sleep, more cortisol. For someone who hadn’t done this for a very, very long time—for thirty-odd years—this felt like something was lit under my bum and I was forced to run. I did not like the rush. I like my laid-back coffee/tea mornings. Alas! I am n...
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Shifting Rhythms, Changing Selves

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Is this a permanent shift or just a passing phase? Why am I growing out of things—choreographies, friendships—I once loved? Or at least, things I pursued with such sincerity and discipline? Once you lose faith, it's incredibly hard to put up the "performance." At least for me, when it comes to friendships or situations, I’m quite clear—almost blunt—about stepping away when needed. Or I know it is a phase and I can always find my way back. I also don't force any relationship to stay (now); it takes its own course either to blossom or fade away. But with dance, it's different. Items that once won me accolades… choreographies I invested time, money, and heart into—I now struggle to reuse them. The excitement is missing. And yet, I can't simply discard them. I’m trying to re-choreograph, retry, reimagine. But it’s mentally exhausting. Is this confusion due to a lack of clarity? Or is it growth? Growth in awareness, in taste, in sensibility? When I ChatGPT-ed the...
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Irrfan Khan Wala Love

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An Instagram reel has been trending, featuring a scene from Life in a... Metro starring Irrfan Khan and Konkona Sen Sharma. Intrigued by the scene, I started watching the movie. While the film weaves together three parallel stories, Irrfan Khan’s storyline stands out—it’s heartwarming and makes us believe in the simplicity of love. The same Irrfan Khan who nailed his roles in Qarib Qarib Singlle and Piku . What makes his portrayal of love feel so unique and deeply romantic—not in a clichéd way—is his honesty, sincerity, light-hearted charm, and the quiet respect he shows toward the women in his life.  In all three films, his character wins over strong, independent, short-tempered women—Piku, Shruti, and Jaya—who have built walls around themselves, are quick to go on the defensive, and are easily triggered. Yet by the end, each of them realizes: it just takes the right man to dissolve all the doubts and break down those barriers. After all, women don’t need grand gestures. Just so...
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Motherhood Chronicles 2 - EQ of toddlers

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Toddlers and emotional quotient? Really? With all the tantrums peaking between the ages of 2 and 3, and their logic-less meltdowns, how much do they really understand and sense our emotions? Well—much more than we expect. I’m just amazed at how empathetic a two-year-old can be, and how fiercely we should protect that quality. Sometimes, their love feels like the warm hug we all adults need in this chaotic, busy life. My very active, naughty child has become quite a pain in the... you know what I mean :) But the way she senses when something isn’t right is just amazing. She also knows what makes me—or us—angry. She knows exactly whom to approach to open her chocolate (definitely not Mumma), whom to go to when she’s hurt, and who the go-to person is to get pampered. But she also knows how to appease the angry ones—through kisses, naughty side glances, songs, and more kisses. Once, when I said, “Mihira, I’m angry,” she looked at me with deep concern and asked, “What happened, Amma?” The...
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Motherhood Chronicles 1- Nursing Journey: A Transcendent Experience

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It has been quite some time since I last had the chance to pen down my thoughts. Even after several sleepless nights with Mihira, my beloved baby, amidst the hectic whirlwind of university work and choreography commitments, along with looming deadlines, an unusual serenity blankets my mind today. Perhaps it's the soft drizzle outside, combined with the earthy smell of rain, that has brought me a sense of peace . However, I suspect it's more than just the weather; it's the satisfaction of having met a crucial deadline yesterday. Productivity brings a unique sense of fulfillment. On that happy note, I dusted off my blog today with the intention of finally writing about an experience I've long wanted to share. My experience of nurturing and feeding my child. Where and how should I begin? It all began with uncertainty, fear, and a profound lack of preparation. I simply followed my baby's cues, heeded the doctor's guidance, and listened to the wisdom of my elders. M...
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How do you say "I love you" without words?

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 While I was scrolling instagram, I paused to look at this post. I wouldn't care for the comments section but somehow today, I went through the comment section and it warmed my heart. Just sharing some of the comments across a few posts to warm your (whoever is reading this) heart too :)                                                                                  How do you say "I love you" without words? - I cook a hearty meal for them (Multiple comments; after all stomach is a way to your heart too) - Having ultimate awareness of each other (Ahh! how relationships would be a blessing if we realize that) - Bring coffee in the morning without being asked (Multiple comments. Again. Coffee is love.) - Make them a cup of tea. Do the chores while they have a lie-in. Brush your han...
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